Cutopia Aprons Launch!!

BEHOLD!! The first lineup of subversive-yet-adorable aprons from the producer of all that is cute and sinister: Cutopia!

Cutopia is my brand name for all my handcrafted things, by the way- based under my not-yet-existing company: Dotworks (insert copyright sign here). Branding your image is very, very important if you want to be any sort of professional- it's one of the first things you learn in art school. Although I couldn't be arsed to make brand labels with my logo at this point... anyway...
All aprons are made from cotton/poly broadcloth and lined with flannelette, unless otherwise stated. They are One-Size only with a fixed neck strap (adjustable upon request), have tie-backs (to be tied at the waist) and look great on many sizes of women and flamboyant men alike!
All are handmade and are therefore "imperfect"- each slightly different from one another!

By the way- these prices are for friends-only and only when referred to from my blog!
(click the pics to make them big)You will remember the Sweet Cherries apron from my first post- This is the first prototype that has also been machine-washed and dried (see Care Instructions)
Sweet and domestic, totally classic. Looks fantastic with a pair of panties and nothing else, for those of you who like to branch out with your functional wardrobe. (okay well- all of them do. Just so you know.)
ALSO. After the wash test, the cute cherries patch with its felt surface and puffy texture became very pilled. This style of patches probably won't be used again.
Price: (original prototype, slight flaws & prewashed condition) SOLD

If you love to beat out male competition in kitchen or just beat men in general, the Man's Ruin apron is for you. Featuring white polkadots-on-dark blue print and tattoo-like lettering on the patch-- men will see you and know their undoing.
Price: $35

So camp and fierce! Which is more vampy- the leopard print or the "Hot" patch that shows you know your way around the stovetop/oven combination?! Hot Mama is for bold ladies that aren't afraid to show it.
This was a fabric experiment, with printed polyester fabric and an all cotton twill base in dark brown. It turned out exceptionally sturdy.
Price: $35

So. Fucking. Punk. The badass patch tells everyone you are here to "fuck shit up", whether you bring chaos and break rules whenever you enter the kitchen or generally promote anarchy in your everyday life.
This apron was constructed with the flannel fabric on the outside, and the tartan is a loose weave and possibly prone to fraying. So the apron will look more worn and punkish the more you use it. The tartan fabric was horrendously difficult to deal with and will likely be only re-used ever again by special request.
Price: $35

I love this- it's like a nega-version of the sweet cherries apron. Blazin' Cherries uses the same racing-checkers pattern but couldn't be more different. If you are a speed demon at anything, this apron shows it in every aspect.
Price: $35

Care Instructions:

All aprons and their patches are machine washable (in cold water), dryable and ironable. They tend to get very wrinkled when tumble dried, and softer with every wash. Do not bleach, dry-clean or otherwise attempt to sterilize the fuck out of these aprons, you crazy bitch. The patches are reinforced with stitching- don't worry about them peeling off. However- as they are each unique and come from various sources I am unsure of their durability and construction. But they are pretty darn nice.

Most of the aprons are constructed with flannelette so know this: It appears smoothly brushed and soft when new, but pills after you wash it. Like a flannel shirt- it becomes a lot more textured. After much consideration, I decided that I didn't want to change my fabric choice. It's still lovely and soft and perfect weight for backing. With the exception of some aprons where the design permits it, it's only used for the lining anyway.

Customization:

Any of these aprons can be remade with your choice of patch (or none) Though-- many of them are found items or very limited availibility so no apron will be the same! The base color can be changed as well (extra cost beyond solid black or white). The patterns will have a limited run of 2-3 aprons each. I am happy to use any fabric that you supply to completely customize your apron (using this template).

Armwarmers and Apple Pie (plus Crocheting Rant)

So-- it would seem that I generally get around to posting once a week. Since I only feature completed projects, that's a pretty good crafting turnover!
But I'm a little late on this update. And I could be doing better. Much better.
This week I made a pair of a heavy white fleece version of winter bloomers, and knitted some armwarmers. But... wasn't I supposed to be learning to crochet?

I can't crochet. Screw crocheting!!!
As many hours I spent practising (LOTS) and as much as I want to make amigurumi dolls and granny square quilts and whatnot- I simply CANNOT DEAL with crocheting.
I decided to start out really simple. Just a little clutch bag, only one stitch to know. EPIC FAIL'D. It was unraveled after a few days and WAY too many hours.

First of all: one hook means twice as much work for one hand. The joints of my thumb and index finger were aching after only a few hours. Also- I've never been the best person when it comes to tension. The very notion of crocheting sucks because you have to pick up from previous stitches to make rows. When the stitches are even the slightest bit too tight you have to force and wiggle that hook through. Over and over and over again. When the stitches are on a needle, this is not nearly as much of a problem.
I taught myself how to knit from a book when I was lonely and depressed in T.O. There are really only two stitches you need to know: knit and purl- I was making hats within a week. (okay- a really huge, poorly guaged hat out of chenille yarn... but guess what- these slouchy oversized hats are WAY back in style now) Whereas in crocheting you have to know in which stitch and in what direction and in what order you are looping and hooking and poking. There's a whole slew of new abbreviations and weird-ass terminology that I hate because I'm old and set in my ways.
Another factor- once I am holding the needles and the stitches are cast on, I can knit a hat without looking. The stitches are very easy to feel for on the needle. Not so with crochet. You have to be looking at it ALL THE TIME to perform what I have previously described. And that. gets. boring.
Siiiiiiiiiiiigh. Of course- this is not the case with everybody. Reasons why I might have failed:
- too accustomed to knitting in general
- learning something new is hard
- I am a terribly ambitious crafter and I like to run before I can walk. I want to try the 3-d sculptural techniques before I even know the stitches. I want to jump right into a complicated project simply because I want to make it. This can backfire (and has- with lots and lots of thrown away materials and piles of dusty half-finished failures) but then again, trial and error is how I learn. It's frustrating, but I don't mind it as much as most.
Although I tried to do something simple and it was really difficult and frustrating, it may have simply not have been the right project for me. As an afterthought: I would probably be most adept at making lacy, open patterns with crochet as it kind of feels like beading (counting stitches) and the "drawing with yarn" quality could keep me interested.

Anyway, after such a failed crocheting attempt, I reconciled myself with knitting with these armwarmers (single-arm picture is most accurate to color)
Worked with a really lovely leaf-and-vine pattern and sexy form-fitting ribs for your arms. The green-flecked-with-yellow yarn turned out buttery soft after washing. Knitting, I love you!

They aren't really my style so I am selling these for $12- both arms aren't exactly the same :x
Wear them and think of spring!

Also- if you need yourself some fingerless gloves I can totally hook you up. Example:

I will be the first to say they are completely useless outside on a cold day but indoors when the heat isn't working and you're snuggled up in front of the computer? Absolutely indispensable typing gloves.

And only requiring a single skein of wool, you can afford to get the poshest yarn possible. (cashmere? alpaca? silk? such a good investment)

P.S: I really didn't mean to offend any hookers in the audience. I am genuinely jealous if you can crochet and you find it easy. I think it's the same as they say about cooking and baking- you are usually great at only one or the other; you get it or you don't. Those who are masters are both have mad skillz akin to ambidexterity.

Speaking of baking, I think I will include completed projects in this aspect as well, because I am a baking type, and I did make it myself...
Behold the sweetest, tastiest and most apple-y apple pie of all:

To prove my claim, I will now share with you my Mom's recipe- sacred to our family- for this absurdly simple and ridiculously easy to make pie.

frozen pie crust (if you're not picky-- you shouldn't be!)
4 cups sliced and peeled apples
1/2 cup all purpose flour
3/4 cup sugar
cinnamon and nutmeg to taste

mix all together and pat evenly into pie crust. Bake in oven preheated to 450*F for 10 minutes. Turn to 350*F and bake for 40-45 minutes. Done.
Super fast, easy, and super-sweet with maximum apple taste. For if you are like me- when you want fresh apple pie RIGHT AWAY. Reheats well, too.

Anyway! Another post done. Up next: I am making a line of aprons- FOR REALS. All the materials are bought and this weekend should yield around 4 new aprons! All strictly one-of-a-kind and available for sale. Get first pick! Tell your friends!
Later.

Winter Bloomers

It's finally cold enough to break out those warm winter socks and tights- lots of layering, here I come!
I love love love socks of all kinds: knee-high, over-the-knee and thigh high especially- and wearing skirts and dresses to show them off!
But there is a specific problem one encounters when the temperature dips below zero- no matter how warm your socks and thick your tights (and don't enough think about pantyhose!) cold wind goes right up yer skirt and chills your poor panty-clad bottom! So how to solve this problem?
Not a pair of shorts. No pair of shorts- no matter how woolen or fleecy- can stop the cold air sneaking around your thighs.

No- the answer is bloomers... made of the softest and coziest fleece!
This one-hour project was a direct result of wanting to wear my big collection of wonderful thigh-highs, but suffering all day long of cold wind blowing up my skirt. Bloomers are the only answer because they are cut fuller than shorts (more fabric = more warmth) and they are gathered/elasticated at the leg opening so your bottom half remains contained and cozy. Thanks to the elastic, they can even be hitched up to a boyshort length or pulled down halfway to the knees.

As soon as I slipped these babies on I felt warmer instantly. Can it be that I can wear skirts with impunity now- no more chilled bum when I sit down, no crossing my knees and shivering when a breeze goes by? Even if they won't stop my legs turning blue, they'll make a difference.

Next I'll make a version with heavier weight fleece. Experiment with the trim. Maybe a version with a built-in garter belt on the inside?? I'm totally bringing bloomers BACK.